Alive and kickin' in Seoul

Taken at 5am on Apr 5 2010, after a long evening out of bar-hopping and clubbing in Seoul.

Some said that I have gained much of weight since I moved away from Dubai. Just to let you know that I weigh even less than before. :) It is just this damn camera!

Ok, one good milestone for this year

I just (re)started to learn Spanish on my own. By the end of this year, I will have written at least one blog posting in Spanish!

Almost a year ago...

Almost a year ago.. or so, I was in the middle of desperately trying to figure out why I had to go through such turmoils in mind. Now all that time has passed and changes I have gone through, I still seem to attempt to forge a state of mind that I no longer feel intimidated by being alone. Mutiple times, I have tried to remind myself that I am much better off being single and independent.

Maybe the resilience comes as I truthfully move on from the complexity and dilemma that I have created in the past and definitely I am not there yet.

How many people have come and gone in my life? How much time do I need to understand this simple equation that I have ruthlessly let myself get stuck in another emotional hiccup, in spite of all the promises I have made to myself?

Not good, not good.

Update

I have been totally inactive on this blog for many months. Just for a little update,

1. I left Dubai as of end of November 2009 for good. I returned to Seoul, my hometown early December and am working for an IT service company as a strategist again. Life is alright. Not great but surely far from bad.

2. For past 12 months, I have gone through a series of relationship turmoils and this does not seem to end. I am forced by my own will and determination to put closure to this. I am better off being single and independent. Love is great but peace of mind is greater.

3. That said, I decided to focus on making my life fabulous again. No need to be glamourous but full of fulfillment and hopes. Lots of hobbies and self-development. That said, going to read a lot, learn a lot, and laugh a lot this year. Oh, one more thing, I am going to dive a lot.

4. I travel a lot for professional and person reasons. I continue to do so. I gotta catch up with various party scenes across Asia and California this year. Yeah gotta be fabulous. :)

5. My mind keeps reminding me that life is a constant battle. I want to change this. Won't happen right away, but I am sure someday soon I will be able to love myself and love my life again.

That's it. Oh, and I will come back to my blog more often. :)

Woo

I must be really crazy

Today I officially submitted a letter of resignation. The official adios to TECOM. The past 3 years was full of ups and downs, a crash course to a totally different culture and value system. I made quite a few great friends here, tried many new things in life and enjoyed my life in general. I have gone through multiple relationship turmoils. I have finally been to Cook Islands and New Zealand. I enjoyed the luxury of this working environment with a great deal of free time and enjoyed the luxury of the fancy Dubai economy.

But I am moving on. What I cannot put up any more is not about further career opportunity (which was indeed bad), not about financial compensation (which was ok), not about living in a muslim society (which was surprisingly acceptable). It was because of this total lack of motivation, caused by losing my self-esteem and letting myself drift across the battles that I was not supposed to win after all.

What's next? I don't know. People would say I must be crazy to leave this job. Especially without anything concrete for my next career move. I must really be crazy. Yes I might be really crazy, for myself and for my future.

I don't want to plan anything now. I am going to finish this glass of fine red and I will sing for a while for now. But tomorrow when I get up, I know for sure, I will do my damn best to find this reckless boy in me again, who was not afraid of hitchhiking across Canada, who was not afraid of any challenge.

Wish me a good luck!

Athens and an Aegean island.

Been a really long while since I wrote here on my blog. I have quite a few draft entries but didn't want to post any of them after all. My mind over past few months has gone through various stages of emotions.In my personal life as well as professional life, I have faced a series of challenges. Since I came back from Bangkok (By the way, I went back to Bangkok again end of July.), I felt my perspective on life has changed and much more stabilised. I started to see the beauty of simple life again and decided not to drive myself as a control-freak, rather let things go.

During this Eid-holiday, I came to Greece. Long-awaited trip to Mykonos via Athens. Since I came back from Cook islands last year, I have been longing for a vacation of solitude again,.. with a bit of entertainment options for the evening. Mykonos in September would be a good choice in that sense. The island would be much quieter these days.

In fact, I am thinking a lot these days. In order not to make things complicated, I am pondering on how to choose just a few things which truly matter and try to detach my emotion from those decisions as much as I can.

This trip onto the Mediterranean would hopefully find me a better balance of life. Will post some pix soon from Mykonos.

Peace!

Test test, blogging from Blackberry

Blogging from my blackberry. Hope this works.
Sent from BlackBerry®

Nearly perfect : Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

What can I say? The name itself explains a lot. He was, is and always will be the true legend in the modern music history.

Although his extraordinary and imperfect nature was overly highlighted by media, I would rather symphasise him having been trapped in a predicament of being overly exposed to this distorted world. Since he has become another typical gossip of media, the world has taken him for granted.

Yet, I would like to remind the world of one thing. Though he was too different from others or even weird compared to our 'ordinary world', he has made nearly perfect music. I have no doubt he will always be remembered as a legend.

Personally, I cannot forget the thrill when I first watched his music videos from 'Bad' album back in 1988 and 1989. It is a real pity that I cannot wait for a new album from him in great anticipation any more.

Listen to my favourite song from MJ, Man in the Mirror, from blip.fm

Bringing closure to a play

Funny that B's stuff lying around here and there at my place might have given me some sort of hope or last resort, that someday or some time soon B and I might be together again.

Yes, over time, a series of chemical reactions inside my brain have subsided and I was feeling sure that I no longer suffer from this rootless heartbreak. Once I wish every single trace that I could find at my place was just gone or disappeared. Once I wanted to hypnotise myself that nothing has ever happened.

This evening it felt awkward to see myself get emotional again. Not at all sentimental. Not the kind of gooey moments that we have when we chew on bittersweet relationship trauma. I admit that I was angry and irritated today to see myself going through a train of complicated thoughts and speculation.

After half an hour of a short chat in my dimmed living room, we gave each other a hug and went separate ways.

I felt rather relieved now. Of a long journey that I had to walk through. Of a mind game that I had to deal with. Seeing that I am all alone again in this dimmed living room, I can finally see that I have moved on. When things come to an end, this means there is another beginning soon.

Now I want to find the right answer to this question. Is this really true, that 'love' is just another chemical reaction in the brain?

Laugh, the world laughs with you

올드보이에 등장했던 명대사. "웃어라. 온 세상이 너와 함께 웃을 것이다. 울어라. 너 혼자 울 것이다."

A famous line from the movie 'Old Boy' - "Laugh, the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone.", originally from 'Solitude' by Ella Wheeler.

Back in Bangkok, the city of fun and hope

After a long while, I am now back in Bangkok. The city makes always a great deal of sentiment to me. Not to mention that Bangkok is full of all kinds of entertainment. An extravagant nightlife around Silom and beautiful boutique restaurants along with vast choices over street food, I would say that there is no doubt Bangkok is on top of people's minds as an entertainment destination.

The city means a lot more than that to me. I have experienced all the more ups and downs in this city. Once I have fallen in love here. Once I felt torn apart and fell in despair here. Yet, most of the time, the city has given me a specific turning point in my mind and recharged my soul.

During the past three days with my closest friends, Joohyung and Philipp, I have been realising that I could recharge my body and soul here again. Now that Joohyung went back to Seoul (Thanks again, by the way. You made it all the way down here to see me, AGAIN... What can I say? You are my true lifetime friend!), I think I should find more time on my own, reflecting on things have happened in my life during past few months. I am sure, when I leave this city for Dubai in a few days, I will have filled my heart with passion and hope again.

Thanks again, my friends. Thanks again, Bangkok.

Been a long time, mate!

In the meantime, one of my close classmates from IMD, KK visited Dubai. I haven't seen him since we graudated. The weekend with him was very pleasant in spite of a tragic news. These are some of the pix that I took with him.

On Friday, we went to Shang Palace at Shangri-la hotel for a Dimsum brunch. Anit, Jeremy, KK and I, we indeed ordered too much.


Then we went to Jumeirah Beach Park to join Minsoo under the burning sun and on the burning sand. Nevertheless, the water rather chilled our bodies pleasantly and a few minutes even after the water, it felt wonderful being grilled by the Middle Eastern sunbeam. We had a wonderful time. See the pic below. Minsoo boy was drinking Soju that I brought. Who can possibly block him!! :D


Then we later on went to Burj Dubai area to get together with other IMD classmates. From Souq Al Baher, we could catch up with Music Fountain show. I'm sure this will become one of the major tourist destination soon.


Later that day, we went to Anit's house warming party at The Address hotel. Boy, it was another wild evening party with a bunch of friends.

KK, I forgot to take any picture of you unfortunately. It was great to see you again and am happy that you had a good time in Dubai. Let's catch up soon either in Switzerland or back here in Dubai.

RIP, you will always be remembered

May 23, 2009

A ordinary man with very ordinary values who tried to change Korea has deceased. The man who has spent his entire life fighting for the humanity has thrown his life away and kept his dignity against the political oppression of the current administration.

Amidst hypocrites and thick-faced liars in this scene, he was the only one who kep his ordinary values as a human being and refused to compromise them to protect his people and the history.

Now he's gone. The great leader that the country has never realised what he truly was to itself, has left a lot of legacies and lessons that our generation has to deal with.

Mr. Roh. I will remember you. The society will remember you. The history will remember you. As another ordinary citizen just as you were, I will remember this day and constantly remind myself of what you were trying to accomplish in our society.

Thank you. It was great to have you as our president.

Rest in peace.

New York Times article on him

'Once', the movie of our ordinary sentiment

I watched this movie 'Once' last night. There are many things that I feel compelled to write about this movie.

There is no such a drama as other maid-in-Hollywood films. There is no artificial tear or heartbreak in this movie. It was rather monotonous capturing ordinary life strugging from ordinary life. The emotion and sentiment that two characters go through in the movie are the exactly same things that you and I would face in our daily life as an ordinary person. It is a story of you, a story of me, a story of us.

I can't even recall the name of the guy. I don't know whether he was ever called by his name in this movie. This guy is hidden behind the wall of his own world, just as most of us. He has his love, his wishes and dream. Yet, he is locked up in his routine life, longing for what he would pursue. The same story goes to the girl.

However, they have a truly special way of communicating to the world. Through their music. The music is an essential part of this movie, which both of them estalish communication to their heart and enjoy the freedom from their routine lives.

After all, their romance would not be materalised. They are bound to their own life, cannot venture anything further. The guy left for London to be with his girlfriend. The girl has her husband back from Czech. Are they happy after all? I am not sure. But I am sure they are relieved.

Ah, please go watch this movie and listen to its soundtrack. What I feel now.... this movie is gonna deliver a lot of emotions to me for a long time. I am watching it again tonight.

Listen to Falling Slowly from twisten.fm

I'll be alright without you by Journey

Al shared with me such great words of wisdom the other day. Al, you are truly amazing with all these great perspectives on life.

There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters, who doesn't, who never did and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past. There is a reason they didn't make it to your future.

I am putting a firm closure now. It's been a great month together. It's been rather a soulful period of time dealing with the aftermath. Many questions remain. But I decided not to ask. I am very happy to move on this way.


Funny enough, I am listening on my itunes to this song from Journey. I'll be alright without you. There'll be someone else, I keep telling myself. Listen to this from twisten.fm.